high hopes (takes me back to when we started)
by time-failed-us
Summary: Jason's back. Reyna doesn't really know how she feels about that. Insight into Reyna's complicated feelings when the Argo II first lands in Camp Jupiter. Jeyna angst.


**Dear readers, here is the one-shot that I promised you. I really hope that this can tug at your heartstrings and make you feel like it did when I was writing it. I wasn't satisfied with RR's portrayal of this scene, which blatantly butchered Jason and Reyna's relationship, romantic or not. They deserve better, so without further ado, please enjoy.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and my own words.**

* * *

high hopes (takes me back to when we started)

 _He's back._

Reyna doesn't really know how she feels about that.

Seeing him sends her head and her heart into a whirlwind of emotions, and it's confusing, so confusing, and she struggles to make sense of it all, but of course, stopping the tornado is impossible. Somehow, that just makes it even more obvious to her, how important he is to her, to be able to elicit such numerous emotions from a stoic, jaded person like her.

But he _was_ the one who brought her out of her shell, coaxed her into the open until she was standing in the light of day before she could even process it.

She hasn't seen him yet, technically—it's the boat. The huge, majestic, magnificent boat, a feat of extraordinary engineering in itself, hovers over Camp Jupiter in all its glory, and she lets slip a tiny sliver of hope from the vault of emotions she prides herself on keeping shut.

The dragon head glints golden in the sun, reflecting rays of warm sunlight. Its red, glowing eyes and razor-sharp teeth do not affect her, but what does is the memory it brings back. Of Jason, standing on Mount Othrys, commanding the storm clouds to his bidding, blue eyes unrecognisable with sheer power, gladius held high above his head, bolts of blinding electricity shooting from his arm. She had seen his power before, but nothing like this—his eyes had this mad, crazy look in them, and she would have been lying if she said it hadn't scared her a bit. The other legionnaires halted momentarily in their actions, astounded and cowering a little in shock. But, Reyna reminded herself, it was Jason. He would never hurt her, or anyone he cared about. And the tiny part of her that was scared stopped being scared and turned instead to being proud of her powerful, strong best friend. And it didn't affect her anymore.

* * *

 _He's coming back._

According to Octavian, and Percy, and the scroll, the _graecus_ are coming, and Jason is with them. Now, only a few feet separate them. She wonders if it is poisonous, toxic to let herself hope that indeed, he is there, and he is the same. Reyna is not one to dupe herself. Spending so much time with the Greeks will definitely change the Jason she used to know, even if he doesn't want to be changed. And if the same thing that happened to Percy happened to him too, then she really doesn't want to see the damage it has caused. More likely than not, Jason would not have had the luxury of getting a potion to regain his memory. What if he doesn't remember…?

These thoughts swirl in the back of Reyna's mind as the boat descends ever so slowly until it is just above the trees. "Legion, stay back!" she hears herself ordering, subconsciously feeling the anxiety of her soldiers and how they are trying ever so hard to go against their instincts of attacking intruders. "I know you are all wary of the Greeks, and so you should be, but I plead you not jeopardise any peaceful relations until we know if they are a legitimate threat or not. If they dare deceive us, I will not hesitate to mobilise forces."

She feels Percy materialise next to her, his arm just brushing hers. "Big words, Reyrey," he teases, earning him a nudge in his side from her elbow. She feels his excitement, too, and a quick sideways glance shows her his wide, wide green eyes and slightly open mouth. True to her insightful abilities, Reyna does not fail to see the hope in his expression and the way he fidgets with Riptide, refusing to uncap it and take arms against his "friends".

Percy's constant motion is driving her crazy, even if she knows he really can't help it. "Stop twitching," Reyna reprimands, though her tone betrays her newfound fondness of Percy and all his dorky but adorable antics. It's funny how easily she accepted him, considering how long it took for Jason and Dakota and Gwen and Bobby to penetrate her defences. Maybe it was the stupid bravery of his, so similar to Jason's cocky confidence, or just the way he held himself, knowing the extent of his power while being approachable and open. Perhaps it was his demeanour and his playful, carefree way of living. Once upon a time, she had seen him as a replacement for Jason, and everything about Percy had reminded her of a tall, lean, golden-haired, blue-eyed son of Jupiter. But seeing his face, so unbelievably happy because he's going to see his girlfriend again, Reyna knows she never should have tried seeing him differently.

She is so grateful for Percy. Granted, he hasn't really been in the camp for long, only about a month at most. He was gone for a week for his mission, too. In that short amount of time, he has become something like a constant for her, a ball of sunshine with an attitude.

And he's a bit more than just a soldier. He's her _brother_.

Maybe it's because he arrived just when she needed someone who understood, someone to trust and talk to when she was hurting the most, when even her own resilient mind had started to convince her that maybe Jason was really gone. Percy's arrival had renewed her hopes of finding Jason, proving the legion wrong. And when they had bonded over hot chocolate and their hopes of finding their respective other halves, he was a welcome "new thing" to enter her life, a distraction from her daily life that still had a Jason-sized hole in it.

She was hurting, and Percy had been there for her, and she really loves him, in a purely bromantic (a word Percy had added to her vocabulary) way. Reyna does not make mistakes twice—if she had fallen for her best friend and gotten hurt once, she would never let herself do that again. From now on, all her close friendships with males are only platonic and nothing more. It's okay, anyway. She thinks that after Jason, she will never really find anyone good enough or just _Jason_ enough to piece together her broken heart. Percy is easy to love, and Reyna vows to watch out for him, even though the son of Poseidon doesn't need any help at all—he is her brother and she will _not_ let him slip through her fingers (like her sister did). She thinks he is too trusting. That gets people hurt. Annabeth better be just as great as Percy describes her to be, though Reyna doubts any girl short of extraordinary could have gotten the painfully oblivious boy to be so, so in love.

"Are you nervous?" Percy interrupts her thoughts, just in time for her to notice that the ship has descended even more and is just above her head now. Out of the corner of her eye, she also spies Dakota, standing just a little too close to Gwen. His dark eyes flick to Reyna's, and offer consolation, showing her a reflection of her own mixture of happiness, anticipation and concern. Gwen's hand grasps Dakota's forearm tightly. Reyna does not miss how their weapons are drawn, but at awkward angles—they have the instinct to fight and hate the Greeks, but do not want to hurt Jason.

Reyna only nods curtly in reply. Percy knows her well enough not to push the subject. He seems too preoccupied with excitement anyway, now bouncing on the balls of his feet. She only has to shoot him a glare to freeze his movements.

"Don't worry, Rey," the son of Poseidon mutters under his breath with a reassuring smile. "Jason will come back to you."

She sighs, knowing that he means well, but how would Percy know? He was the one who left, just like Jason (again, Reyna forces her thoughts to halt to remind herself that he didn't have a choice, it was Hera's fault—but gods is it so hard to see it that way). Maybe Annabeth would have been a better confidante. Reyna isn't one to hope for friends, however she thinks she would get along well with the intelligent, witty, strong daughter of Athena. "I highly doubt that. You were lucky to get your memories back, but for him… I am looking for the worst."

"I remembered Annabeth, didn't I? Who's to say that Jason wouldn't remember you?"

"You and Annabeth were already together," Reyna reminds, feeling her throat clench. "We… were close, but not quite there yet."

"Not making it relationship official doesn't mean your connection with Jason is any less profound than mine and Annabeth's," Percy states matter-of-factly in one of his genius moments. Reyna allows herself to briefly ponder the truth of his statement.

It is then that the ship lands—well, hovers an inch above ground—and a ramp is extended to allow passengers to descend. Reyna suddenly can't bear to look, but her eyes refuse to glance elsewhere, fixated on the ship.

A girl with startling grey eyes with a lithe athlete's figure and wavy blonde hair in a ponytail rushes onto the ramp, seeming more jittery than Percy, who stiffens beside Reyna. This must be Annabeth, and the female praetor is already impressed. Annabeth has excellent posture and possesses a cunning intelligence that gleams in her eyes, and Reyna is particularly pleased that she carries a bronze knife tucked into a leg holster.

She watches as Annabeth spots Percy, sees her grey irises soften and swirl like stormy skies, then smiles internally when the blonde runs to Percy. She kisses him fiercely (to Reyna's amusement) and proceeds to judo-flip him. Reyna decides that Annabeth is up to her standards and that they definitely deserve each other. She is so happy for Percy. If only that were her and Jason.

After the Percy and Annabeth reunion fiesta, a tall boy with golden hair like the sun and blue eyes like the sky walks out, and Reyna can't seem to find her breath.

He's taller than she remembers. His hair is longer. Shoulders broader. And for some peculiar reason, he's holding a gladius that is definitely not IVLIVS, his prized coin. But all Reyna really sees is him, and he's _alive_ , and he's _back_.

For a second, all her worries wash away. All she needs is to see him to bring out the hopes she so desperately hid in her vault of emotions. He will remember her, and he will run to her, and Percy would be right.

In the next second, everything changes again. He looks back to the inside of the ship. He's holding something in one of his hands. A girl walks out. Reyna notices that his hand is connected to hers, and suddenly it's all rushing back to her—no, he did not remember; no, he will not run to her; no, he will not come back to her because _there is someone else_. (This doesn't properly register in Reyna's stubborn mind yet.)

Reyna steadies herself to better inspect the other girl (and to ignore the soft smiles and starry looks that they share). To her disdain, the girl is gorgeous. She has smooth, flawless mocha skin and kaleidoscopic irises. She has choppily-cut chestnut hair in miniature braids framing her face, while the rest swishes across her shoulders. She is petite and slim, and her lips are pink and full.

It doesn't take Minerva to see that the girl is a daughter of Venus—no, Aphrodite.

And oh, Reyna really hates Venus. And did it really have to be a graecus too? She can't help the wave of disgust that runs through her very Roman and very Bellona blood. Of all the people in the world, Jason just had to go for a daughter of love (and she knows it's just her initial anger speaking), a Greek one at that. Reyna has no idea what Greek daughters of Aphrodite are like. She would prefer Jason be with a Roman daughter of Venus—at least then, Reyna would have some knowledge of who they were, but with this girl, all she can do is speculate. Reyna hates not knowing things, the control freak that she is.

So, she guesses. The girl has choppy hair. It's obvious that she cut it herself, purposefully messily. She is beautiful, and she knows it, and she did it to make herself more down-to-earth and less beautiful. Somehow that disgusts Reyna. Reyna is a believer in using everything to one's advantage—if you are born with beauty, then there is no use disguising it. Just live life with it and use it to help you. But this girl, she has no idea that in trying to change the way she looks, she just made herself even more attractive. She doesn't seem to _appreciate_ the gift of beauty. Reyna takes everything she gets seriously, and this blatant show of the girl's dislike of her mother's gift is quite despicable.

Jason seems to like it, though.

It's like he stabbed her in the gut, then twisted the knife to and fro, then added a pinch of salt and a spritz of lemon juice to season the pain. It's agonising. Jason has never done something like this to her, and Reyna duped herself into believing that he never would, and yet she does not comprehend what is happening, feeling herself bleed out as he smiles and laughs with _her_.

It is at times like these that Reyna loathes her position of authority. Why oh _why_ is she responsible for fostering good relations with oh-so-perfect, unnamed girls who she wants to rip apart? It's irrational, the way she is feeling and the things she is thinking, Reyna knows, but sometimes it's okay to feel, right?

No. But Jason told her it was, and look where that got her now.

"Hello," a girl's voice jolts Reyna back to reality. Annabeth is talking to her, extending a hand. Her grey eyes are guarded, Reyna notes, but they reflect the joy that she observed in Percy's. Annabeth is beautiful, too, but in an unconventional way. Reyna thinks that she and Annabeth might be similar in quite a few ways, not least because they're both fiercely protective. "I'm Annabeth, daughter of Athena, Minerva to you."

Reyna shakes her hand firmly and nods in greeting. "Reyna, daughter of Bellona."

"Bellona, the strictly Roman war goddess?" Annabeth interrupts, her brows shooting upwards minutely. Reyna narrows her eyes—she hates being interrupted, one of her pet peeves. The blonde seems to notice this and quickly apologises. "Sorry. I'm glad that a daughter of a war goddess is leading Camp Jupiter."

"The same to you," Reyna says diplomatically. "Welcome to Camp Jupiter. Percy has told me quite a lot about you, Annabeth. I have to say I am pleased to make your acquaintance, and I hope that our camps may be able to work together in the future. That should not be a problem at all for us, as my legionnaires are very well disciplined. However, I will warn you now that any kind of action against our rules on our grounds will not be taken lightly, and I am not afraid to mobilise on any kind of threat."

Annabeth smiles. "I expected nothing less from the praetor. Thank you for taking us, and I assure you we will not be of any trouble and will follow your rules for as long as we are on Roman land."

Percy, who is hovering behind Annabeth, suddenly groans. "Guys, we get it—everyone's going to behave, and if someone acts out, Rey will murder them. You two can take so long to say something so simple for two of the smartest people I know. Now can we please get to the food? I'm hungry."

Annabeth and Reyna shoot the son of Poseidon equally annoyed glares.

"Jackson, you are the resident praetor of Camp Jupiter and New Rome. Please kindly act accordingly—you represent our people." Reyna's reminder is stiff, calculated. Percy still detects a hint of a smirk at her lips.

The small falter in Annabeth's eyes does not escape Reyna's observant gaze. She sees it, Reyna notices. Annabeth is a "wise girl", picking up on the possibility of Percy and Reyna. Reyna knows how it feels, and wants to show the daughter of Athena that at least one reunion will work out happily today.

"I cannot believe you made this Seaweed Brain here the leader of a camp," Annabeth adds, smile sparkling with mirth.

The two girls' eyes meet for second. Grey and black: not so different, yet shades apart. An understanding passes between them—they are both fiercely protective of Percy, but care for him in different ways. Annabeth's eyes take on a brighter shine.

Percy groans half-heartedly from between the two daughters of war. He should have known that his girlfriend and his co-praetor would get along well, which spelled disaster for Percy. As if one sarcastic, kickass, witty, intelligent girl who told him off constantly for his "stupid" actions wasn't enough.

Reyna smirks at the son of Poseidon. She knows exactly what he's thinking. "Indeed, it wasn't one of my best ideas, but as the gods would have it, he was Jason's replacement of sorts. Since _Percy_ is so hungry, we would do well to move on. Everyone, head to the forum for lunch. Surely, your trip must have given you all an appetite."

* * *

The meal whirls past Reyna in a blur. Then, Jason is standing up and raising his voice, telling the Romans what happened on his quest. Him speaking in front of the legion is something Reyna is used to, but this time, his voice feels different. Casual. Not as authoritative.

Romans definitely do _not_ use the word "dude" to describe giants.

Her mind drifts off as her external body reacts as a praetor should. Jason has changed. That much is obvious. He seems to take things less seriously, as if a war isn't just around the bend. His mannerisms are painfully familiar: the way he moves his hands a lot when he speaks, the way his scar bends when he smiles, the way he rolls his eyes at Octavian.

But she can't shake the uneasiness within her as she watches the boy she used to know better than she knew herself. Jason is not fully Roman anymore. He has become more Greek. Sure, he used to be carefree and playful and rather optimistic before, while retaining his Roman discipline. Now… it seems like his Roman blood and upbringing has been erased along with his memories.

Son of Jupiter? Not anymore.

 _Son of Zeus._

She already knows that she's lost him. Jason. Reyna doesn't really mourn the fact that he found someone else, because she always knew that a son of Jupiter would not settle for anything less than perfect, and perfect is not an adjective for Reyna Avila Ramirez-Arellano. But Jason made her feel beautiful, like to him, it didn't matter that she was flawed. To his eyes, he used to say, she was perfect.

She feels betrayed that he chose a daughter of Aphrodite. She feels betrayed that he lied to her, telling her that what was broken could be fixed. She feels betrayed that she didn't matter enough for him to remember her name. And that is what Reyna mourns most. The loss of the four years of friendship and trust and love that she and Jason shared. Plus, the nine months that she wasted looking for him; waiting for him, thinking that if he came back, their friendship would still be theirs.

Reyna snaps back to reality when she hears it. A voice sickly sweet as honey, dripping with persuasion. She hasn't heard a voice like that since she left Circe's Island.

"Octavian, shut up and let Jason speak!" it commands. It's _Piper_ , of course. (If only she would stop piping up.) The Aphrodite girl had to have _something_ in her favour. After all, one look tells Reyna that she is neither athletic nor fit—obviously lacking in any kind of combat training as well. Piper is lucky that she is Greek. The legion would kick her out immediately in her state, if she even made it to Camp Jupiter before getting caught by monsters. People who rely solely on magic and twisting others to their will are not welcomed in Rome. They are useless in a battle.

The first thought Reyna has is _how dare she_. How dare this girl waltz in here, claim Jason as hers, then tell Octavian to shut up? It might be the first time Reyna sides with Octavian, because she herself is just as wary of the Greeks, especially what they have done to her best friend. Piper has _no right_ to come into Reyna's territory and demand respect when the Romans have no reason to do anything but kill her. She has _no right_ to be clutching onto Jason's arm, looking admiringly up at him, because he is _Camp Jupiter's_ Saving Grace, _not_ Piper's. He is _Reyna's_ Saving Grace.

Reyna almost laughs at herself for thinking like such a _girl_. Jason was never hers. She had let herself fall for him, believing that he loved her back. She remembers two years ago, when they were just on the edge of fifteen, when Jason had started seeing her differently. Back then, Reyna's resolve had been unwavering, and she had denied any kind of romantic feelings towards him—he was her best friend, she refused to lose him to some petty puppy love. However, when they had turned seventeen and served together as praetors, she had softened. It had taken four years of trust and seven months of praetorship together for Reyna to finally crack.

They had gone stargazing in the Garden of Bacchus, flying there on the Jason Express (or so he liked to call his abilities). In a moment of weakness, she had told him that he meant more to her than anything in the world. He had held her and said that he loved her, and that he would wait for her as long as it took, until she was ready to accept it. The next day, she had woken up in the Garden of Bacchus alone. He was gone.

Of course the gods love a little irony. Reyna hates Venus for ruining her life, for destroying her hopes and taking away the person who mattered most to favour the goddess' own daughter. At the same time, she loathes herself for ignoring Venus, for loving when she knew she would never be loved. It's irrational, so unlike Reyna—but maybe the reason is because Jason makes her irrational; makes her listen to her heart when her head knows better. Their differences in thinking made them the perfect team. Similarly, the way he changed her is forever written in her blood, and will be her downfall.

Reyna pauses in her tumultuous thoughts to remind herself that the Jason she is looking at is not the Jason she once knew. This one is a coward, a carbon copy on the outside but stripped of the Roman pride and bravery she had once admired. He can't even bring himself to say something to her. She doesn't care about the new girl on his arm, she decides. She's more hurt and angry that he won't face her as his best friend; the person he once spent nights with just talking about life, the person he went to for comfort even when she wasn't good at giving it, the person he sought out on the battlefield because they trusted each other with their lives and more.

* * *

 _He is gone._

She will just have to accept that. Besides, she knows that she doesn't actually _need_ him in her life—she's always been an independent spirit. But four years have shown the strong praetor that maybe she _wants_ (wanted) him in her life, because he makes (made) her _feel_.

So Reyna is numb when Jason finally looks her in the eye and asks her for permission to give Piper a tour of New Rome. She feels nothing even as she watches them walk into her city, the home she has given her all to. A picture-perfect couple, just as it should be. She imagines them going to her and Jason's favourite café for hot chocolate, where Gaius, the owner, will know Jason by name. Gaius will ask Jason who Piper is and why she is in Reyna's place, and will shake his head sadly. In the end, Jason and Piper will still have their happy ending, though, as they pay for their hot chocolates (Gaius doesn't give free drinks to strangers) and drink and laugh, as Jason shows Piper all the places that used to be his and Reyna's only, as he holds the daughter of Aphrodite in the Garden of Bacchus while they name the constellations.

It feels like half of what Reyna has known and who Reyna is as a person is gone. Instead, the walls around her heart are back up, stronger and higher than ever. She is the perfect Roman leader. Statuesque and stoic, calm and calculating. No room for emotions. War is coming.

She'll fight for what she has left. They can pry Camp Jupiter and New Rome out of Reyna Avila Ramirez-Arellano's cold, dead fingers.

* * *

At least she'll still have her memories, where the dreams of a childhood long gone are preserved: of a boy with golden hair like the sun and blue eyes like the sky and a bright smile reserved just for her.

Except now, they might be nightmares.

* * *

 _I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you  
I know you were right, believing for so long  
I'm all out of love, what am I without you  
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong_

 _—_ _All Out of Love, Air Supply_

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 **Did you like it? Please review! I'm super proud of this story, and fished it from the depths of my unfinished ones that I had started probably two or three years ago to give it new life.**

 **I may write a sequel if there's enough interest... ;) which means hit the favourite button or leave a comment while you're at it!**

 **time-failed-us**


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